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i usually take a 3 hour nap between midnight and 2-3 am and then I'm awake for the rest of the morning/day/night. it's been this way for about 2 weeks.Current Mood:  awake Current Music: midlake |
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Today I'll put some stuff under a cut.
it's a x mas miracle.
( annnd more )Current Mood: zzzzz Current Music: new order |
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"you should never be embarrassed by your trouble with living, cause its the ones with the sorest throats that have done the most singing" |
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Reality is cold and unapologetic. I have been struggling to hold onto any positive feelings I have for myself, ones that I have only just gained in the past three months. They are slipping away at a rapid pace. Every day one good thought is replaced by one truth.
You are beautiful. - You are sickly, and pale and your hair is falling out.
You are smart and capable. - You are foolish and failing.
You are gonna make it on your own. - You are a weepy, depressed, mess of emotions. Failure.
I have gotten myself into a place that I might not be able to crawl out of. I would like to think that it can't always be dismal, and the sun will shine again. I really would like to.
I need Jeremy to come home. He promised multiple times, nomatterwhat, he will be with me on Christmas. But, I should have known all along that since he would be driving from Portland, into a possibly record-breaking blizzard, that it wasn't really going to happen. But still, I held onto the hope that it actually might. Nope. "Hey baby, I've got some good news, and some bad news." It's hard to stop sobbing once you start, and sometimes it's really hard to stop it from starting. I know that its safer for him to stay there, but it was still devastating. More terrible than I thought it could be. But, it is a well-known fact that I often over-react to imagined feelings of abandonment. Let's not forget that I am indeed, crazy.
Jeremy's tour is an epic failure as far as I'm concerned, and its not Jeremy's doing. I hope this thing with Tony ends as soon as they play their last booked show. Tony is undeserving of Jeremy's talent. I have never in my life heard someone talk(scream) to(at) a friend the way he does Jeremy. Its appalling. Spoiled fucking brat.
I think I have pneumonia. Or something else that is impending my breathing, and causing me to cough uncontrollably to the point of gagging. My chest hurts. There is rust-colored slime flying out of my lungs. I am always teeth-chattering cold, but sweat profusely at night. Every fucking symptom of pneumonia, and no health insurance. I can't even afford to go into a minute clinic. If I die of pneumonia, after everything else I have been through that hasn't killed me, it would be reaaaally lame.
I want to start getting healthy, and its not working. At all.
On the slightbrightside, Nathan and I are working on re-forming our relationship. We melted it down, and are slowly pouring it into a friendship mold. We'll see if it comes out right. I really hope it does. I would like him to be my friend. Even though lately we have resembled a pair of mortal enemies, we truly are brother and sister in spirit. I feel like we will always have an intense pull to one another. I understand him, and he understands me. He is the only person that really knows me. All of me, good and worst.
Hopefully this 10 to 20 inches of snow brings some warm Festivus feelings with it. I really need some right now. |
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Hello,
The above image is a sexica drawing I did awhile back that I've just finished up.
It'll go in a girls and monsters themed art book for the Emerald city comic convention in seattle this coming March 13th & 14th, 2010 (the future)
Also I just did a new audio interview with the dudes at comicimpact
that you can listen to here:
http://comicimpact.com/2009/12/ep115-brandon-graham/
When I talked to them I was trying to turn my vampire schedule into something
that walks among mortal men so I might sound out of it.
Here's a sketchbook drawing I did today of T2 era John (savior of humanity) Connor
and his the sarah connor chronicles era sexy protector robot cameron.
It was promted by seeing this lady dressed in T2 cosplay.
And this after I was bitching about how awful it is that there always has to be a sexy lady
version of every male comic chacter. In my defense I think it'd be different if she was like belly shirt push up bra John Connor, as it is it's just badass.
I've always maintained that the mixture of time traveling robots Public enemy and GnR
that is that film is at the very core of what I consider to be cool.
Anyway there's more of that here:
http://www.cosplay.com/costume/222817/
and speaking of here's an old picture from some live action Tintin
with some sort of bong and a way too happy snowy.
And I ran into this comparison:
Apparently at some point because of French law or just some law of good taste they stopped
putting real booze names in Tintin.
I suppose that's good you dont want kids to be all about Jonnie Walker
because of their favorite boy detective.
Although on the flip side if somone claimed to have Asterix and Obelix themed
wild boars I wouldn't even be typing this right now, I'd be on a plane with a bib already tied around my neck.
Sorry, am I boaring you.
Anyway, Here's some new stuff from my pal Marley zarcone whose back up story in Images Unforgetable is out in stores now.
Here's a page from her personal far future project, Black circle.
And like that Marian, Marley has also been sucked into Dragon aids --she made this about it:
And here's some sketches she did to mail out with some book promotion or something that I didn't fully grok. Muggles draws such good faces.
And my artisticly reclusive pal Tom Herpich has got some new shits on the internet.
The whole comic is here:
http://www.viceland.com/int/v16n12/htdocs/comics-tom-herpich-286.php
and an interview
http://www.viceland.com/blogs/en/2009/12/21/gonfonadon-with-drawing-supergenius-tom-herpich/
I'm always amazed by the work Tom does. I've got a brilliant 5 page King city comic by him running in issue 9. I'll throw some of the pages from it up here as the print date nears.
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My pal Robin who does the Inkstuds radio show recently did a fantastic
show with Stuart Hample, who drew the Woody Allen strips that are coming out with a new collection. The interview is just a great glimse into how comic strips used to be.
I really like the stories he has about Lil Abner creator Al Capp
you can hear it here:
http://inkstuds.com/?p=2522
Hearing it promted me to dig up this image.
I had this record as a kid and that drawing has been burned into my minds eye.
I really like how Capp drew that pig.
And I ran into these great Morinaga iodide drawings.
I hadn't head of this guys stuff, it' seems to hit on that same 1983 Akira toriyama kick that I like so much.
i like that muppet looking muppet.
What would this style of page layout be called--its like diary mishmasery--
it reminds me of Miyazaki's porko roso pages.
I think this is his site:
http://marumo.oops.jp/sakuhin/index.cgi
And this guy Shimoda Shinobu seems to be doing simmular stuff.
I am constantly amazed at how much great work there is out there that I've never
seen before. I was thinking about this when reading best of the year comic lists.
Like I feel like I read a lot of comics and I wouldnt feel qualified to know
everything good coming out.
that idea makes me dammned excited about comics--its like too much to wrap your brain around.
Actually, you know who would make a good best of the year list?
Man, I wonder what his top 10 would be--like tell me what kind of books came out in
Bizzaro world this year-- Is Bizzaro Maderera still making those Awesome books??
OH fuck you RULK!! of corse he wouldn't pick you!
Annnyyway--after those Ryoichi Ikegami Dune pictures I put up last time.
I dug up this cool spiderman he drew.
And also my King city 4 will be out today.
so get that please and thank you.
 Current Mood: shine them on Current Music: i run right through it. |
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